I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
