therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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