ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And then he peed in my hair
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