3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
