Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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