Christians are straight up FREAKS
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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