Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
only you would photoshop your dick
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
