It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
