For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
