A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
