he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
