I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
