I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
