It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
