Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
