All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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