I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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