I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's Friday. Sex?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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