the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You smell like stripper and shame
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
