If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
