My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
