Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
