She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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