i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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