No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
