he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
