The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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