Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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