The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
