More tranny stories later!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
