The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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