Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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