Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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