i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
