We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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