Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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