I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
