Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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