Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
