So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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