Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
