he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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