We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
