Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
