You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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