When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
