Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
