Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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