i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
