She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
