Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I understand Curling. That high.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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