You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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