triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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