Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
