She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize