i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize