so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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