I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
