I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His nipple licking is glorious
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